So I'm confused.

You see I really like him. And I think he likes me.

But there's some one I used to love that still loves me. And I don't wanna let him down but I'm happier with out him.

What the hell do I do?

So today I am writing from an apartment instead of my bedroom at home.

Rachael the lucky duck is on a 5 week adventure in Europe and she is trusting me with her apartment!

There's a swipe card to get into the car park. So I pull up next to where it needs to be swiped, stick my arm out the window....it didn't reach. So I leaned out a little bit....still didn't reach. In the end I had half my body hanging out the window to get the damn card to swipe.

Then I had the next problem....I couldn't get in the apartment. After I had walked up 6 flights of stairs and to my apartment I could not get the door open. I was so sure that some one was going to come up to me and accuse me of trying to break in. Eventually I worked out you had to pull the door towards you VERY HARD. And then it opened.

After getting the oven to work (which took about 10 minutes) I am now relaxing and enjoying my own space.

Ahhhh, now I just need a man to share it with!

So I'm frustrated and feeling like I don't want to feel this way anymore.

I FINALLY get over the guy I fell for that screwed me up and then I meet some one else. He messages me every day. Three times a day. Well at least he used to...

It all started...hmm well I guess you could say three years ago when I was brunette and drunk at a party. And he told me I was hot. I laughed. My boyfriend was standing next to me.

We didn't really talk much. If he was at a party I was at then yeah cool. But other wise...sorry who are you?

Then my life turned to crap and I broke up with my boyfriend, fell for another guy and he broke my heart too. And we started talking more and more. He begged me to go out with him, share his tent at camping etc. All of which I said no to because I had no interest in him. But the talking turned into every day and then 3 times a day.

And as I got to know him I realised he was actually pretty cool. He made me laugh. So I shared a bed with him. And he didn't try to have sex with me. I was impressed. Next time we shared a little kiss or two or three....and then it slowed down.

Messages only came every second day. Although I did get a goodnight message 3 days ago and a goodmorning message 2 days ago. My mind starts going crazy wondering what he's thinking. He mustn't like me as much any more. That has to be it right?

I let myself fall for yet another person. Is this gonna be just another broken heart?

So here I was bored waiting for Desperate Housewives to start. Then I remembered I used to have a blog on this site that I used to write in every day. So I thought why not start it again. I could use a place to vent.

Today was a typical Monday. Meeting day. Except I had to train the wicked witch of the west. She used to work with me in my old position at work until I got promoted and now shes been given extra duties that I was lucky enough to teach her...

So here I am on my Monday doing the usual but work isn't the same any more. You see all I do is think while I sit in my little cubical. While I'm meant to be debt collecting all I can think about is him. A guy who works for my company to be exact. Not in my office, but never the less, the same company. He chased me for weeks. We were seeing each other.

I love him. And I know he at least likes me back.

How do you stop thinking about it...?